Information Guide
We have included links to popular UK based websites that provide information on the areas outlined. We do not take responsibility for the information included in these websites.
Topics
Emotional support for Fertility Problems
The journey to parenthood is often not straightforward and can be fraught with stress and anguish. Medical procedures, tests and hormone changes alongside cycles of hope and disappointment can mean you feel worn down and overwhelmed. When feelings of loss prevail it can place huge strain on relationships. Feelings of envy and guilt at watching other’s easy journeys.
If you are connected to a fertility clinic you will have been offered an opportunity to speak with a counsellor before you start your treatment. However, you may also want the opportunity to speak with a therapist during your treatment or afterwards to think through and process your experiences. Partners who are in a predominantly supportive role may find it hard to express their feelings around the experience and may benefit from a therapeutic space.
Below are links that may provide you with further information
If you have thoughts or feelings that mean that you no longer feel able to keep yourself or others safe, contact your GP or go to A&E.
Links:
Getting emotional support | HFEA
(https://www.hfea.gov.uk/treatments/explore-all-treatments/getting-emotional-support/)
Emotional impact | Fertility Network
(https://fertilitynetworkuk.org/learn-about-fertility/emotional-impact/)
What are Perinatal Mental Health Difficulties
Ante/post natal depression
This describes symptoms of depression or low mood that occur during pregnancy or in the post-natal period.
You may be feeling some of the list below:
- Sad, low or tearful
- Feeling irritable or angry
- Losing interest in people or the world
- Having negative thoughts about yourself or the world
- Feeling guilty
- Feelings of hopelessness
- Difficulties in focus or concentration
- Struggles with eating (either not wanting to or eating more than usual)
Links:
Post Natal Depression – NHS
(https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/post-natal-depression/overview/)
Depression – NHS
(https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/keeping-well/depression/)
Pandas Foundation
(https://pandasfoundation.org.uk/)
Support Mums and Families – Maternal Mental Health Alliance
(https://maternalmentalhealthalliance.org/about-maternal-mental-health/support-mums-and-families/)
Ante/postnatal anxiety
Anxiety can present in a number of different ways. You may experience panic attacks which is a sudden intense wave of anxiety or fear.
Symptoms of a panic attack may include:
- Fast racing heartbeat
- Feeling dizzy or faint
- Feeling that you are not in control
- Shaking or sweating
- Feeling sick
- A tingling sensation in your fingers
- Short of breath
A panic attack usually lasts between 5-30mins. They are often frightening experiences but they are not dangerous
Generalised anxiety disorder
You may feel anxious about a lot of different things for a lot of the time. You may find it difficult to control your worries and may feel that you are sometimes overrun by them.
Symptoms may include:
- Feeling tense
- Lack of concentration
- Feelings of being irritable
- Feeling restless
- Difficulties sleeping
Links:
Anxiety Fear & Panic – NHS
(https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/anxiety-fear-panic/)
Anxiety and Panic Attacks – Mind
(https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/self-care/)
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
After a very frightening, distressing or stressful event you may have symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
Symptoms of PTSD:
- Relieving the event in nightmares and flashbacks
- Avoidance of the event or feeling emotionally numb
- Feeling ‘on edge’, where you feel frequently anxious or under threat
Links:
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – NHS
(https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/overview/)
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD and Complex PTSD – Mind
(https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd-and-complex-ptsd/about-ptsd/)
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD and Complex PTSD – Panda Foundation
(https://pandasfoundation.org.uk/what-is-pnd/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/)
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is an anxiety based disorder where a person can feel overwhelmed by unwanted, distressing thoughts or urges and they act out behaviours that soothe and calm the unwanted thoughts.
This cycle of obsessive thought and compulsive behaviours may become preoccupying and dominate a person’s life.
Links:
Obsessive Disorder – NHS
(https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/overview/)
Ocdaction – UK
(https://ocdaction.org.uk/)
Ocduk
(https://www.ocduk.org/)
Parent-infant relationships
Becoming a parent can feel far from straightforward. We understand that there can be many things that affect how we settle or adjust to parenting for example, how much support is available to you, how your baby feeds or settles, or your experience of birth and the initial few days after.
It can feel really hard when our expectations of what parenting might feel like does not match the reality of it. Often there is an expectation from others that we should be enjoying it or know what to do, which can double down on our distress. There is a wealth of information and advice available online which can feel overwhelming.
Links:
Developing a relationship with your baby – NHS
(https://www.nhsinform.scot/ready-steady-baby/early-parenthood/getting-to-know-your-baby/developing-a-relationship-with-your-baby/)
Crying
Babies cry to communicate that they need something. Whilst this is clear, it is not always clear what will help. Prolonged crying in a baby can be very distressing and overwhelming to manage.
Links:
Coping with a crying baby – IHV
(https://ihv.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/PT-Coping-with-a-crying-baby-FINAL-VERSION-27.01.22.pdf)
Soothing a crying baby – NHS
(https://www.nhs.uk/baby/caring-for-a-newborn/soothing-a-crying-baby/)
Baby myths and facts – NHS
(https://www.nhs.uk/start-for-life/baby/baby-basics/baby-myths-and-facts/)
Sleep
Babies can sleep for up to 15-18 hours in 24 hours. Why then does it feel like they are never sleeping when you want to sleep. Prolonged disruptions to your sleep can make managing day to day tasks difficult.
Links:
PT-Safer-Sleep-for-your-baby-FINAL-VERSION-30.3.22.pdf
(https://ihv.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/PT-Safer-Sleep-for-your-baby-FINAL-VERSION-30.3.22.pdf)
Helping your baby to sleep – NHS
(https://www.nhs.uk/baby/caring-for-a-newborn/helping-your-baby-to-sleep/)
Bonding
For many the feeling of connection to your baby needs to grow and develop over time. It is common to not have a rush of feeling/love at the start, although some may do.
Links:
Building a close relationship with your baby – Start for Life – NHS
(https://www.nhs.uk/start-for-life/baby/baby-basics/bonding-with-your-baby/building-a-close-relationship-with-your-baby/)
How to bond with your baby | NSPCC
(https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/support-for-parents/bond-with-baby/)
Mums: bonding with and getting to know your baby | NCT
(https://www.nct.org.uk/information/baby-toddler/caring-for-your-baby-or-toddler/mums-bonding-and-getting-know-your-baby)
Feeding
There can be strong feelings about how to feed your baby, whether to bottle, breast feed or a mix. For many, breast feeding is not straightforward.
Links:
Breastfeeding – NHS
(https://www.nhs.uk/start-for-life/baby/feeding-your-baby/breastfeeding/)
Feeding your newborn baby – Start for Life – NHS
(https://www.nhs.uk/start-for-life/baby/baby-basics/caring-for-your-baby/feeding-your-newborn-baby/#bottle-feeding-your-baby)
Support with breastfeeding or bottle feeding: our infant feeding line | NCT
(https://www.nct.org.uk/information/baby-toddler/feeding-your-baby-or-toddler/support-breastfeeding-or-bottle-feeding-our-infant-feeding-line)
About breastmilk and breastfeeding | NCT
(https://www.nct.org.uk/information/baby-toddler/feeding-your-baby-or-toddler/about-breastmilk-and-breastfeeding)
How to bottle-feed your baby) NCT
(https://www.nct.org.uk/information/baby-toddler/feeding-your-baby-or-toddler/how-bottle-feed-your-baby)
Understanding your baby & toddler
So many feel confused and frustrated by their baby’s cries after they have tried everything and nothing helps. Why does your toddler like something one moment and then hate it the next.
Links:
Understanding your baby – Start for Life – NHS
(https://www.nhs.uk/start-for-life/baby/baby-basics/bonding-with-your-baby/understanding-your-baby/)
Association For Infant Mental Health | Getting to Know Your baby Videos
(https://aimh.uk/get-to-know-your-baby/)
Baby-watching-Making-sense-of-your-baby-FINAL-VERSION-23.06.23.pdf
(https://ihv.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/Baby-watching-Making-sense-of-your-baby-FINAL-VERSION-23.06.23.pdf)
Temper tantrums – NHS
(https://www.nhs.uk/baby/babys-development/behaviour/temper-tantrums/)
Toddler tantrums: the facts and how to cope | NCT
(https://www.nct.org.uk/information/baby-toddler/baby-and-toddler-development/toddler-tantrums-facts-and-how-cope)
Premature babies or babies who have been ill
Babies who have illness, disability or are premature can have hospital stays from birth, or return to hospital post birth. These experiences can have a huge impact on your emotional wellbeing and stress. It is common to feel anxious, worried, and you may experience symptoms of PTSD (please see our information on Perinatal Mental health).
Links:
Special care: ill or premature babies – NHS
(https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/labour-and-birth/after-the-birth/special-care-ill-or-premature-babies/)
For babies born premature or sick | Bliss
(https://www.bliss.org.uk/)
Guardianship Arrangements - Looking after children who are in kinship/special guardianship arrangements or adopted
You have taken a huge step in taking on the care of a child who has had a very hard start in their life and is no longer able to live with their birth parents. These children are likely to have particular behaviours and ways of receiving comfort and care that have developed in relation to their early experiences.
Links:
Kinship: Home | The Kinship care charity | England and Wales
(https://kinship.org.uk/)
Homepage | CoramBAAF
(https://corambaaf.org.uk/?msclkid=09ff6acf901d1b2e94ca02713b4eb0f6&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Search%20-%20BAAF%20-%20Brand&utm_term=coram%20baaf&utm_content=Search%20-%20BAAF%20-%20Brand%20-%20CoramBAAF)
LGBTQI+
The journey to parenthood has a number of paths. Considering roles & responsibilities in parenting tasks, as well as developing your bond with your child (for gestational & non-gestational parents). Access to healthcare systems, worries about stigma & concern about societal views. It may be that these experiences can lead to feelings of anxiety and low mood at a time when you want to feel excited & happy.
Links:
Having a baby if you are LGBT+ – NHS
(https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/having-a-baby-if-you-are-lgbt-plus/ways-to-become-a-parent-if-you-are-lgbt-plus/)
New Family Social – Home
(https://www.newfamilysocial.org.uk/)
Just Like Us
(https://justlikeus.org/)
LGBT+ Parenting – FFLAG
(https://www.fflag.org.uk/portfolio-item/lgbtplus-parenting/)
LGBT Mummies
(https://lgbtmummies.com/)
Fathers/Partners
Fathers and partners’ mental health are frequently overlooked. It is important to understand and recognise that fathers and partners experience mental health difficulties in relation to the stresses and strains in the transition to parenthood.
Links:
Can fathers and partners get postnatal depression?
(https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/postnatal-depression-and-perinatal-mental-health/partners/)
Looking out for dad | Fatherhood Institute
(https://www.fatherhoodinstitute.org/looking-out-for-dad)
Dad Matters | Home | Home-Start UK
(https://www.home-start.org.uk/dad-matters)
Support for Dads – PANDAS Foundation UK
(https://pandasfoundation.org.uk/how-we-can-support-you/support-for-dads/)
Our Offer of Support
We are here to support your emotional wellbeing through life’s big changes – from the first thoughts about having a child, through pregnancy, birth, parenthood, and beyond.
Our Professional Support
We provide specialist psychological input at key life transitions, with a focus on the journey to parenthood, the perinatal period, parent–infant relationships, early years development and couple/family relationships.
